Travelling to Infinity: My Life with Stephen, by Jane Hawking

travellingtoinfinityPurchasing and reading this book was a classic, “Saw the movie, now want to read the book to find out how right/wrong they got it” experience after I watched the excellent movie which is largely based upon this book, The Theory of Everything. While Jane Hawking is not a professional memoir writer, so there is no particular literary “flair” to the book, but it’s a clear, well-told story of someone who embodied the role of selfless caregiver and wasn’t treated particularly well as a result. This is an abridged version of her earlier memoir, Music to Move the Stars, and probably benefits a little from the distance that an additional decade could provide.

I came away from the book feeling that the movie had in fact been fairly faithful to Jane Hawking’s version of the truth, though with some of the rough edges smoothed a bit for movie purposes. The problem that faced the filmmakers was obviously how to tell a heartwarming story about a marriage in which a devoted wife supports her disabled genius husband — when the story of that marriage ends with the disabled genius husband dumping his devoted wife. In fact, what both the book and the movie did for me was made me reflect a little on some of my assumptions about marriage and what it means to commit to someone “for better or for worse.” Jane’s dedicated care for Stephen was obviously heroic and she believed strongly in fulfilling her marriage vows, but when he finally left her for his nurse (a process which is far more protracted and painful in the book than it is in the movie), my main feeling was relief for Jane. She went on to marry the dedicated friend (and possibly lover? Her book is as vague as the movie is on whether they ever slept together while she was still married) who provided such support to Jane, Stephen and the whole family for many years. Does dedication to one’s marriage vows require a selfless sacrifice with nothing in return?

The takeaway from this book and movie for me were: being the spouse and caregiver of a severely disabled person is really hard, especially if, like the Hawkings for most of the book, you’re not rich enough to afford a lot of home care. Being married to a genius is also hard — they tend to be demanding and self-absorbed. Being married to the world’s most famous disabled genius wasn’t easy, and for the fact that she stayed in the marriage until he left her, raised three kids, and remains on cordial terms with her famous ex today, Jane Hawking deserves great acclaim. I hope she and Jonathan have a terrific life together because she’s certainly earned it.

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Filed under Nonfiction -- memoir

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